[his whole. everything. had been a lot, when they were talking about his team being under suspicion.
and then it actually had turned out to be someone from his team. it must be painful, she thinks. but he's been very good at hiding the way he feels this entire week.]
[there's a muted ?! at "i'm sure you have questions," and after a moment's hesitation, she ventures...]
I thought you must not have known... because if you did know, then you would have known that even if we did vote for your team, Luo Wenzhou would not be in danger. [it was very clear that even if it was someone from sweet theory, it wasn't possible for it to be him.] Was I wrong?
[she nods an acknowledgment at that. everyone lies. there have been times she's held back the truth, even if she does usually share everything she knows when she can. it's a realistic way of looking at the matter.]
But having that skill does not inherently make you not a good person, either. What's important is the reasons behind what you're lying.
Mn. [ the closest to an acknowledgement she's gonna get, but it is an acknowledgement. ] And, in hopes of changing the results, some.
I would like for tomorrow to be Libby and I, but I doubt that will be the case. My hope was that if she didn't confess, then the majority of you would've believed I was the one who did it. And every theory you all had about it being too cruel, or too harsh, could've easily reflected on me.
[ instead of on libby, who was clearly horrified and upset that anyone thought it could've been out of cold, logical cruelty. ] She surprised me, though, and confessed after all. It says a lot about the kind of person she is.
I wonder about that. I don't think... the majority of us believe that you're as cruel or harsh as we would need to in order for that to work.
[because, while fei du certainly can be logical and calculating, and while he'd certainly gotten people's hackles up near the end of the trial - she still struggles to think of him as cruel.
maybe it's because, to her, it had seemed so clear that he was trying to protect someone. (although - even the cruelest people can still have one or two people they want to protect. she knows that, too.)]
...I wish things had been different. It didn't... seem like she had wanted them to turn out like this. If anything is cruel, it's the circumstances.
[ there's just a slight, enigmatic smile to the first part. it brings it back to their initial conversation: that fei du is a bad person.
but. fei du's voidlike emotions give the slightest response to the second part - something like sorrow. ]
I agree. [ with the circumstances. ] She didn't... well. It's not my business to talk about why or why not, just hers. But I couldn't stand people thinking that she was trying to be cruel.
[(ratshakes fei du YOU'RE NOT CONVINCING ANYONE OF THAT YOU SELF SACRIFICING TWINK)]
She did say that wasn't it when she confessed.
I... hope she'll explain in a little more detail if people come to speak with her. If we understand, then maybe...
[it won't make things better - nothing will, at this point. but it's better to understand, than it is to let someone die while assuming things about them.]
[ just based on what he knows about his teammate. the fact that she even confessed at all. ]
But, I think there are some who rightfully will never feel any sense of forgiveness, no matter the reasoning. Ultimately, that's the trick with a tragedy like this - trauma from murder sticks like rot on everyone, not just on the victims. I imagine it's likely there will be retaliation, too. We'll just have to see.
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[his whole. everything. had been a lot, when they were talking about his team being under suspicion.
and then it actually had turned out to be someone from his team. it must be painful, she thinks. but he's been very good at hiding the way he feels this entire week.]
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I'm fine. [ he says, neutral. ] There's no need to worry about me. I'm sure you have questions...?
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I thought you must not have known... because if you did know, then you would have known that even if we did vote for your team, Luo Wenzhou would not be in danger. [it was very clear that even if it was someone from sweet theory, it wasn't possible for it to be him.] Was I wrong?
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I knew. [ eventually, the answer comes. ] He didn't. Neither did Kyoko.
I don't like watching people talk about him like he's a criminal.
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nahida breathes out a sigh.]
It did not appear that he liked people talking about you that way, either.
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No, he doesn't. He needs to learn that that's just the way it is.
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["it's just the way it is" just makes her feel sad, honestly.]
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Would you believe me if I told you I'm not a very good person?
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[softly -]
...but I would believe that you believe it.
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I'm a very, very good liar.
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[ sweet nahida. ]
It's that I'm very good at hiding it.
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But having that skill does not inherently make you not a good person, either. What's important is the reasons behind what you're lying.
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[ he's very calm, here. it's like it's an academic exercise - like their conversation they had about profiling just a few days ago. ]
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Mn. [ the closest to an acknowledgement she's gonna get, but it is an acknowledgement. ] And, in hopes of changing the results, some.
I would like for tomorrow to be Libby and I, but I doubt that will be the case. My hope was that if she didn't confess, then the majority of you would've believed I was the one who did it. And every theory you all had about it being too cruel, or too harsh, could've easily reflected on me.
[ instead of on libby, who was clearly horrified and upset that anyone thought it could've been out of cold, logical cruelty. ] She surprised me, though, and confessed after all. It says a lot about the kind of person she is.
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[because, while fei du certainly can be logical and calculating, and while he'd certainly gotten people's hackles up near the end of the trial - she still struggles to think of him as cruel.
maybe it's because, to her, it had seemed so clear that he was trying to protect someone. (although - even the cruelest people can still have one or two people they want to protect. she knows that, too.)]
...I wish things had been different. It didn't... seem like she had wanted them to turn out like this. If anything is cruel, it's the circumstances.
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but. fei du's voidlike emotions give the slightest response to the second part - something like sorrow. ]
I agree. [ with the circumstances. ] She didn't... well. It's not my business to talk about why or why not, just hers. But I couldn't stand people thinking that she was trying to be cruel.
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She did say that wasn't it when she confessed.
I... hope she'll explain in a little more detail if people come to speak with her. If we understand, then maybe...
[it won't make things better - nothing will, at this point. but it's better to understand, than it is to let someone die while assuming things about them.]
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anyway. ]
I hope so too. I think she will.
[ just based on what he knows about his teammate. the fact that she even confessed at all. ]
But, I think there are some who rightfully will never feel any sense of forgiveness, no matter the reasoning. Ultimately, that's the trick with a tragedy like this - trauma from murder sticks like rot on everyone, not just on the victims. I imagine it's likely there will be retaliation, too. We'll just have to see.
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[god, she hates waiting and seeing.
but what else can they do at this point?]