It had to be someone from a team of three or more, because I wasn't looking to erase an entire team. I... didn't think I stood a chance of getting to Simon before somebody else did. [given, uh. everything.] And I couldn't bring myself to go after anyone from Shenhe's team, or TBD.
That just left the one team. And of the three of them... Valerie had combat experience. She fights ghosts in her world, and she's familiar with high stakes. I thought - I also thought she might understand what I was trying to do. [...] But in the end, it didn't work out like that. When I was trying to figure out what to say to her, I ran out of time, and it all went wrong.
[ he listens quietly to this, just closing his eyes with a pained expression. yeah, he saw how losing just one tbd affected them all. he saw how nahri's been breaking with every loss. and he can't help but just be so selfishly happy she didn't choose shenhe's team. ]
... I thought it was something like that.
The kids.... so many of them don't understand what's happening. What's going to happen.
[she keeps looking at it like she wants to, but she's not sure if she deserves to]
...everyone here is so young. [like. comparatively.] But that's part of why I couldn't just sit back and wait. If we lost our chance to try to help them because we were waiting for someone else to handle it...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Hey, Nahida.
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[she nods to him in greeting]
...I'm sorry.
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[ ... ]
Can I ask why her?
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That just left the one team. And of the three of them... Valerie had combat experience. She fights ghosts in her world, and she's familiar with high stakes. I thought - I also thought she might understand what I was trying to do. [...] But in the end, it didn't work out like that. When I was trying to figure out what to say to her, I ran out of time, and it all went wrong.
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... I thought it was something like that.
The kids.... so many of them don't understand what's happening. What's going to happen.
[ hilarious coming from livio, who is 16? ]
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she looks at him because uhhhh yeah livio your age?]
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[ but he doesn't think that's what she's making the face about ]
Sorry. I just... I wish there was another way we could all do this. Without having to play the game like this. But there isn't.
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[she looks down.]
It's not the first time I've had to accept that. But it doesn't get any easier.
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... It doesn't. Doesn't feel good to hurt people, either.
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We can only do what we can do, though. Right? There's no.... right option. Just.... try cause as little pain as you can.
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...right. Sometimes we might not always succeed, but... we have to at least try to minimize the harm.
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Yeah. So I'm not... angry at you, or anything. Even though she was a kid.
[ don't look at his age ]
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...everyone here is so young. [like. comparatively.] But that's part of why I couldn't just sit back and wait. If we lost our chance to try to help them because we were waiting for someone else to handle it...
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... Yeah. I know. That's the problem. You either don't act, and they could lose their chance at life, or you act... and you hurt them.
I just wanted you to know that I won't hate you. Or think badly of you. I understand what you were trying to do.
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...that means a lot to me, Livio. Thank you.
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I hope that you don't hate you. You're more than just a murderer.
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she squeezes his hand back.]
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[ they can hold hands quietly. he has like an actual murder question he wants to ask at some point but this is more important ]
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