waking up to the erasure of their teammate really sucks. nahida is upset and frustrated - that she was right there with him in the mcdonald's with him that night and couldn't do anything to stop it, that someone actually jumped straight to erasure right away - but she knows that kaveh is probably hurting, too.
so she pulls herself together and goes to find him once they're done wandering around in that post-investigation state of disorientation.]
[The way I misread the investigation post and fucked up my starter to becks so now I just have to say Kaveh slept through the alarm until after Shu and Rin left. Help. It's fine.
ANYWAY. His first priority, of course, would've been making sure Nahida is okay; with that done, he left to check on everyone else he'd worried about, frantic with the scars of old losses and a lack of knowledge. By the time she finds him again, back at the warehouse, that energy has burned up, leaving only the crushing weight of guilt and helplessness behind.
Another person he couldn't save. More people worrying about him, because he's never been truly able to get a grip on himself.
(And what if this was his fault? What if Hikari was targeted because of his outburst? And isn't that just the most selfish thing to think?)
He looks up as she approaches where he's sitting at one of the tables, a half-empty cup of coffee in front of him. Mehrak is by his feet, but it's off. He's almost relieved by her presence; it gives him something to focus on besides the black spiral of his own misery.]
Nahida. [His voice is soft, gentle.] Did you find anything?
No... I visited some of the places that people said they found things, and I wasn't able to find anything at all.
[she fiddles with the hem of her dress, keeping her gaze low.
If I were a competent Archon...
she shakes her head and forces herself to cut off that thought. this isn't sumeru. here, she isn't an archon - not really. she's just another person trapped in this reaper's game, with no choice but to mourn the death of her friend tonight and search for clues about his killer tomorrow. logically, she knows that there was nothing she could have done - nothing any of them could have done - to prevent the events of the night before from playing out.
but it hurts. her heart feels so heavy, and it feels like it's being squeezed tight, like it's being crushed.]
...you should eat something, if you haven't yet. We're... going to need our strength for tomorrow.
[DAMMIT NAHIDA WE CAN'T BOTH BE SELF-DEPRECATING SELF-SACRIFICIAL STEPFORD SMILERS
Unfortunately, though, like recognizes like; he's not as good at pushing down the guilt as she is, but then, he's not as old and wise as her, either. Still, it's not hard to recognize her pain, since it's the same as his.
He reaches out to take her hand and squeeze it gently.]
[she lets him take her hand, and squeezes it back.
...like recognizes like. there is still a lot that nahida doesn't understand about humans - their feelings are a mystery to her. but then, sometimes, her own feelings are a mystery to her, too.
she's still learning. and one of the things she's learned is that she and kaveh do tend to feel things in a very similar way.]
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week 0, friday ... 2
waking up to the erasure of their teammate really sucks. nahida is upset and frustrated - that she was right there with him in the mcdonald's with him that night and couldn't do anything to stop it, that someone actually jumped straight to erasure right away - but she knows that kaveh is probably hurting, too.
so she pulls herself together and goes to find him once they're done wandering around in that post-investigation state of disorientation.]
...Kaveh?
no subject
ANYWAY. His first priority, of course, would've been making sure Nahida is okay; with that done, he left to check on everyone else he'd worried about, frantic with the scars of old losses and a lack of knowledge. By the time she finds him again, back at the warehouse, that energy has burned up, leaving only the crushing weight of guilt and helplessness behind.
Another person he couldn't save. More people worrying about him, because he's never been truly able to get a grip on himself.
(And what if this was his fault? What if Hikari was targeted because of his outburst? And isn't that just the most selfish thing to think?)
He looks up as she approaches where he's sitting at one of the tables, a half-empty cup of coffee in front of him. Mehrak is by his feet, but it's off. He's almost relieved by her presence; it gives him something to focus on besides the black spiral of his own misery.]
Nahida. [His voice is soft, gentle.] Did you find anything?
no subject
[she fiddles with the hem of her dress, keeping her gaze low.
If I were a competent Archon...
she shakes her head and forces herself to cut off that thought. this isn't sumeru. here, she isn't an archon - not really. she's just another person trapped in this reaper's game, with no choice but to mourn the death of her friend tonight and search for clues about his killer tomorrow. logically, she knows that there was nothing she could have done - nothing any of them could have done - to prevent the events of the night before from playing out.
but it hurts. her heart feels so heavy, and it feels like it's being squeezed tight, like it's being crushed.]
...you should eat something, if you haven't yet. We're... going to need our strength for tomorrow.
no subject
Unfortunately, though, like recognizes like; he's not as good at pushing down the guilt as she is, but then, he's not as old and wise as her, either. Still, it's not hard to recognize her pain, since it's the same as his.
He reaches out to take her hand and squeeze it gently.]
I will if you do.
no subject
...like recognizes like. there is still a lot that nahida doesn't understand about humans - their feelings are a mystery to her. but then, sometimes, her own feelings are a mystery to her, too.
she's still learning. and one of the things she's learned is that she and kaveh do tend to feel things in a very similar way.]
That's a fair exchange.