It's not what I expected either. I actually thought I was older...
[hmm.]
Well, how should I put this...? I think you can already tell that I'm not human. Umm... let's think of it like a balloon. When it's full of air, it can look pretty large, right? But if you untie the base of it and release all of the air, it will move around rapidly with a large amount of force, and once it runs out, it will be much smaller.
I didn't always look like this. A long time ago, I had to unleash much of my power at once, and... this is how I ended up when it was over.
There have been countless times throughout history where people have thought they had a clear understanding of a situation, but once they learned more or once unexpected things happened, the entire situation was turned on its head. Even when they've been given rules about how something should work or been told to expect it to turn out a certain way.
So... to me, it's too soon to just accept that as the only outcome. Maybe it's what the rules say we should expect, but the rules can't account for everything that's going to happen the entire time we're here. If we follow along with it and don't look for any alternatives, then yes, it's almost guaranteed it will turn out that way, but... objectively speaking, we have a little more information than before, but we still don't have a lot of information.
...I know it's hard to hold onto hope that it will turn out that way when what we have so far is a rulebook saying it won't. We'll just have to face each day as it comes.
My profile makes it clear I'm a scientist, right? I deal in facts, not... [pausing to rephrase.] What I mean is, I don't want to make it seem like you're stupid for thinking things might turn out better than they seem. You aren't. But reviving a group of people of this size... I can hardly comprehend the raw amount of power it would take to bring even four of us back.
[another small pause, because she's aware this next sentiment is mostly fueled by her own insecurities rather than anything nahida actually implied, but she has a tendency to view every discussion like this as a chance to prove she's Smart. exhausting.]
If I disagree with you, it's not because I don't know enough about history, and not because I'm unwilling to look for any alternatives. You know that, right?
I do know that. It's just, umm... I'm a lot older than most people I've met, so I've seen more patterns over the years than others. Sometimes it helps them if I point out the things I"ve noticed. [she smiles.] ...I guess it wasn't so helpful this time.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[hmm.]
Well, how should I put this...? I think you can already tell that I'm not human. Umm... let's think of it like a balloon. When it's full of air, it can look pretty large, right? But if you untie the base of it and release all of the air, it will move around rapidly with a large amount of force, and once it runs out, it will be much smaller.
I didn't always look like this. A long time ago, I had to unleash much of my power at once, and... this is how I ended up when it was over.
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Was that... painful?
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[...]
Either way, that must feel terrible.
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[...]
...it's alright. I might not remember my past, but I'm experiencing all sorts of things now, and I'm sure I'll make wonderful memories in the future.
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Maybe this is a little presumptuous, but... You can have good things now and still be angry or upset about things that have happened to you before.
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[it sounds like a neutral observation, because it is. she's not upset.]
I know. But I'd rather think about the nice things to come in the future than dwell on the past.
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Well - that's not a bad mindset to have.
[even if it's fairly different from hers.]
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[she smiles]
...in any case, we've got our work cut out for us here.
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[fiddling with her hair again]
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...is there something more you wanted to say to that?
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[frowning slightly]
I guess it's just weird to be having that kind of conversation with people when only a handful of us are going to win.
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There have been countless times throughout history where people have thought they had a clear understanding of a situation, but once they learned more or once unexpected things happened, the entire situation was turned on its head. Even when they've been given rules about how something should work or been told to expect it to turn out a certain way.
So... to me, it's too soon to just accept that as the only outcome. Maybe it's what the rules say we should expect, but the rules can't account for everything that's going to happen the entire time we're here. If we follow along with it and don't look for any alternatives, then yes, it's almost guaranteed it will turn out that way, but... objectively speaking, we have a little more information than before, but we still don't have a lot of information.
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Obviously if it works out that way, I'd be glad.
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...I know it's hard to hold onto hope that it will turn out that way when what we have so far is a rulebook saying it won't. We'll just have to face each day as it comes.
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[shrugs. libby that doesn't explain anything.]
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[another small pause, because she's aware this next sentiment is mostly fueled by her own insecurities rather than anything nahida actually implied, but she has a tendency to view every discussion like this as a chance to prove she's Smart. exhausting.]
If I disagree with you, it's not because I don't know enough about history, and not because I'm unwilling to look for any alternatives. You know that, right?
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I do know that. It's just, umm... I'm a lot older than most people I've met, so I've seen more patterns over the years than others. Sometimes it helps them if I point out the things I"ve noticed. [she smiles.] ...I guess it wasn't so helpful this time.
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[she definitely did just imply that (please find someone better to talk to nahida), but anyways]
Um - maybe we should talk about something else again.
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[she doesn't seem bothered at the implication, at least? libby is still nicer than some of the people she's dealt with in the past.]
Is there anything in particular you would like to talk about?
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Enjoying the ice cream?
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Yes, it's very good! I like the strawberry flavor best out of the ones I've tried so far.