[nahida can find shenhe outside, crouched in a flowerbed.
if you guessed that she is looking for a flower that she can shove in her mouth, you would be correct! she's got a few of them collected, with a pensive look on her face.]
[oh, hey, sup. she glances up when she hears her name, and gives nahida a little nod of acknowledgement. she doesn't say anything because her mouth is full and she's polite.
a pause. and then she kind of awkwardly lifts a hand. hi.]
It does not necessarily need to be plants. [she says, tucking her hair behind her ear.] I'm willing to try the plant balls. This is just the easier option.
[it means she doesn't have to go inside buildings and order things from people in a small space, wheeze]
[she may not be shenhe's archon but she's still an archon so she feels responsible for the people from teyvat... i hope shenhe murders her]
Yes. It's similar to a custard or a pudding, but it's colder, and it's sweetened. I've tried a few different kinds, but I think I like strawberry best so far.
Ah. That sounds... good. [she likes food, even if she doesn't allow herself to have it often, but like. listen, she's dead. so.] I would like to try it.
[puts nahdia's name down as a knifeblock counter murder every week in protest]
He warned me to not eat too many of them, or I would feel cold. [he said "not so hot" but ok] I've also had the apple pie. D and his strange friend who bites were kind enough to bring me some.
For the most part, yes, they are. I don't know if I've met anyone who's been outright unkind to me, but... I suppose some might be more mischievous than most.
Well... we're in a difficult situation, and many people might find it hard to get accustomed to. If they're only acting out because they're afraid and they'll get better later, then I wouldn't want to give anyone the wrong impression of them.
[shenhe is sitting here on a curb somewhere, chin in hand, elbow on her knee, eyes distant. she seems to be thinking hard about something, but if nahida approaches her, she tunes back in, and makes room for her to sit, if she'd like. hello.]
[actually nahida might see that shenhe's got a bruise across the lower half of her face - it's faint enough that it's hard to see unless you're right up next to her.]
I hit him with my weapon and he asked me to do it again. [it was horny and she hated it]
I was getting used to my Vision changing. He approached me, and said that it was annoying that I sent a fire tornado towards him on accident, so I asked him if he wanted it to be on purpose.
...there are times when it's wise to use force. But, I worry that fighting with people like him may cause you to be put into those situations more often than you need to.
Three people will be forced to be his allies whether they want to or not, though, won't they? If teams have to be made up of four people... unless there are four people who simply don't form a team, refusing to ally with him would leave several people without enough people to complete the mission.
[nahida can be found on... the tennis courts at the playground, examining the equipment! i almost made it the basketball courts but she's way too short for that.
she bounces a tennis ball a few times before trying to hit one with the racket... alas, she misses.]
Oh...
[her ears droop a little, but then she spots shenhe and waves.]
[she says, absently.] I am, yes. My team agreed to look for resources, but I have my suspicions that Vash and Wolfwood will not be taking it seriously, so I can take my time.
Nahri wanted a bed. [she takes the racket! and she. swings it. she swings it so hard that it makes that fwiff sound when she does.] I wouldn't mind having something to cook with.
[how come her own racket doesn't do that...? she swings it too, but looks a little disappointed that she's not swinging it with enough force to make the fwiff sound.]
I guess they didn't have very many beds to begin with, did they...?
Hehe... I haven't done a lot of cooking myself, but I do have many recipes committed to memory. If we find things we can cook with later, would you like for me to walk you through some of them?
If you're sure. [shenhe out here about to try and make a contract with the wrong archon] It would be nice to share a meal with you. Master says it's the best way to get to know someone.
I do... I'm pretty sure my assistant and the others in the Akademiya can handle things temporarily in my absence, but I don't want to abandon them with all of my work, either.
someone did a murder!! so quickly!! and they took out a member of her team, to boot!! how frustrating. nahida is upset about it, but she's also walking around the city - she has some people to check in with and things to follow up on...
speaking of... when she spots shenhe, she hurries over to her.]
Shenhe? Kaveh told me you were planning to stop by to check on us last night. I hope you didn't get trapped outside...
We were trapped at the McDonald's. It was getting late, and Hikari hadn't come back yet, so I asked where he was... he was there with Rin. Kaveh and Shu came with me, and then all five of us were locked in.
...perhaps. But we're going to catch the person that did this tomorrow, and we're going to teach them that trying to earn points the "easy" way won't pay.
[she goes to find shenhe after that trial because wow that was a lot. that was so many people packed into a fast food restaurant trying to solve a murder and just yelling for nine hours.]
...I'm not unused to being alone with my thoughts, so it's alright if I am. But I know how it feels isn't always nice, so... I'd like to be there for others if I can.
nahida kind of loves that, honestly. it's rare for people to speak so plainly to her. this is a far cry from "great dendro archon, bless us with your wisdom" and she's completely here for it.]
[nahida, meanwhile, thought that cat was out of the bag when kaveh started arguing with rang about whether or not "lesser lord kusanali" was a baby on the network]
[shenhe has rang blocked on all social media so she never saw this (no) (but kind of)]
No, you did not. [....... she probably should be more respectful but she won't be.] I wasn't there, so I don't know what happened. But I don't believe for a moment that you didn't try.
nahida fiddles with her belongings, then holds out the anemo vision to shenhe]
...I did wonder, because this Vision looks like it came from Liyue... [and, well. because so much of the cyoa happened in liyue.] ...were... we seeing something from your past, Shenhe?
But... I do know one thing. We went through all of that together, and we... struggled. But... if you went through that alone... I knew you were strong, Shenhe, but you're even stronger than I realized.
[what a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.
anyway, logically nahida knows that there is probably nothing for her to find if she looks around the various locations for clues as to what happened to rin, but sitting and waiting for tomorrow to come doesn't feel right. so she's out and about, which is probably how she runs into shenhe.]
Shenhe...
[ :( WHY DO NICE PEOPLE KEEP DYING WHAT THE FUCK.]
[she runs into shenhe, who is sitting in front of a car that looks like someone beat the shit out of it. she's holding her stop-sign polearm, just. breathing, in and out.
she doesn't open her eyes, because she's trying not to be violent, but.]
It is, yes. [she's probably wearing her casual clothes which are just black loose fitting pants, a black t-shirt and a I LOVE ??? hoodie, with her red ropes tied in the usual places.]
These aren't terrible. They're softer. But my usual was made for the mountains.
My clothing isn't especially indicative of what most people wear in Sumeru... the clothes Kaveh arrived in are a little closer to it. They're very bright and colorful, usually, with plenty of embroidery and accessories.
it's not until later in the evening that nahida is able to bring herself to venture out in search of anyone else, but she knows she's not the only one hurting right now. so, she goes to look for shenhe.]
she's just sitting in the grass, staring up at the sky. nahida will feel the sensation of wanting to cry, and a quiet, exhausted frustration. that build up, that hot, horrible feeling behind your eyes and in your chest when you want to sob. she can't. she doesn't know how to anymore.
so she's just sitting, staring. and she doesn't look away, but:]
nahida's eyes are a little red. she's been crying, but she's tried to clean herself up. seeing shenhe and getting that feeling, though - it almost makes her want to cry all over again, to shed tears on her behalf, if she can't.
she takes a breath and sits down next to her.]
...is it alright if I stay here with you for a little while?
[shenhe isn't really a touchy person - or at least, she wasn't before she got here. but over the few weeks that she's been here it's gotten easier to reach out. she's been trained a little to accept it, and to look for it. so when nahida sits next to her, she offers a hug.]
Yes. [she murmurs.] You may stay as long as you'd like.
that surprises her, but it also draws a surge of warmth and gratitude from her, too, and she scoots a little closer to give shenhe a hug. it's gentle, rather than tight and squeezing, because she is aware that shenhe is still getting used to this sort of thing.]
...thank you. [and then, quietly - ] I'm sorry. It all happened so quickly...
[and even if it hadn't been so fast... she's not sure there would have been a way to save him, although she did want to.]
[shenhe should get used to having people around her, but nahida doesn't want her to get used to losing them. still, won't they all, eventually? people can adjust to nearly any circumstance they find themselves in; that's something she's observed so many times throughout the centuries.
but to grow accustomed to this, to acclimate to it, that just feels...]
[human emotion is a mystery to her, even if she's learned more about it as time has gone by.]
...but from what I've observed... there are many different ways to protect people. The most obvious is to protect them from physical harm. [...] But protecting their hearts... that's just as important, but sometimes, it's much more difficult.
[she is sitting here, reading her text messages...
nahida can get little bursts of thoughts - she doesn't often think things other than what she says, because she's so straightforward, but today she's silent as she reads.
want to be there i miss you too. feeling this - this is like crying but i can't and oh jonas i wish i was there and peace sign
she'll look up when she sees nahida, though, and offer a very small smile. she's not wearing her ropes, and her hair is down, this is important to note.]
[nahida is also checking her messages, and before she realizes that shenhe is nearby, there's a flash of thought - he didn't write back... - before she tries to clear her mind and offers her a small smile back.]
Hello, Shenhe. [...] It's reassuring to hear from them, isn't it? Even if we can see them... watching doesn't feel like enough.
[it's ok nahida kaveh didn't write her back either]
It is. [she reaches for nahida!! come sit. this graveyard is so Touchy that they've trained shenhe into holding hands with everybody.] Who didn't write back?
[she is not polite enough to not respond directly to people's thoughts.]
[oh. well, nahida doesn't mind. it's kind of a refreshing reversal, honestly - she can see into her people's thoughts (though she doesn't make an attempt to, usually; it feles invasive), but she can't think of a time anyone has known her thoughts so easily before now.]
...Kaveh. [she comes to sit with shenhe, taking her hand.] But he's got... a lot going on right now, so he probably hasn't had the time to.
[he was probably on a date with netzach when the messages came in tbh]
...it can't have been easy on him - none of this can have been. I wish we could see him again. [...] ...but not because he ended up over here. I think he and the others may be afraid of that, because of the numbers.
It has been... interesting, to be here, and to have seen the reaction of the people on the other side. [way less stressful, for one.] I have struggled with the feeling of... relief, I suppose, when someone I care for ends up here. I know it is inappropriate.
... I told Vash that it is okay if teams of two end up here, and that it isn't so bad. I hope that eases their minds, a little.
...it's more peaceful here, it feels like. So I don't know that it's necessarily inappropriate. I almost feel a little guilty...
[Kaveh wanted to take my place here so badly. Did I just make things harder on him by refusing to allow him into the erasure with me?]
Netzach had offered to allow me to erase him and Yuzuriha for the points. I was vehemently opposed to it at the time, because I thought that meant the overall cost to save everyone would go up. But... After we were told it was okay, I told him I would understand if he pursued that strategy, even if I didn't like it.
[SUPLEXES YOU where is nahida. shenhe is looking, she doesn't care if nahida wants to be alone. if it were anybody else, maybe, but - not like this, and not her.]
in the process of bailing out of the hotel to find somewhere to sleep from now on where no one can find her. so uh. help. anyway, she's moving as quickly as her tiny little legs will allow, but - at one point, she goes absolutely still, staring straight ahead with horror as the color drains out of her face.
(there is nothing horrifying in front of her. it's just a normal shibuya street.)]
[she skids to a stop behind nahida, looks up - and then shakes her head, because she knows what this is like. nothing there. she understands, this happened to her, too.
shenhe moves, like she's putting herself in between whatever nahida is looking at and nahida, and says, firmly, but gently:]
Nahida. Nothing is there. [...] I'm real. You aren't where you were.
actually seems panicked at that. there's a spike of I don't want to hurt you too! that drowns out the static in her thoughts, and she backs away from shenhe's hand.]
she couldn't hear them there. she looks up, hopeful. that's a difference, so - does that mean it's really over? that they broke out of the loop after all?
she looks hopeful, but terrified. if these hopes are dashed, then...]
You want to make Alhaitham drink a spicy avacado cola so Kaveh will laugh. [she watches her, head tilted just a little.] Alhaitham is someone from Teyvat?
slowly - cautiously - nahida reaches out to take her hand. when they make contact, she watches her worriedly, like she's afraid shenhe will vanish before her very eyes.]
shenhe doesn't vanish. she doesn't peel away from reality, bit by bit. she stays exactly where she is, and nahida can still feel the warmth of her hand.
...
after a few moments of this, nahida surges forward and hugs her tightly.]
shenhe isn't expecting it, but - she adjusts quickly enough. nahida hugs her, and shenhe wraps her arms around her and hugs her back, warm and steady and real. she's gotten better at hugging, over time - she's not clumsy anymore. it's nice, that this is something she's been able to learn.
carefully, she rests a hand on the back of nahida's head, and the other on her back, and holds on as long as nahida wants.]
...it's not just the things I'm seeing that hurt. It's... what I did, too.
[Even if this isn't in another loop, I could still...
the rest of that thought is drowned out by a multitude of voices talking over each other, to the point that it's impossible to clearly make out what they're saying.]
[or - well, she doesn't know exactly, but she can guess. there's a little flicker of two names - wolfwood and nahri, but it's not at the forefront of her thoughts.]
You can talk about what happened, but I don't need to know if you don't want to. [...] Perhaps with alcohol.
that sure is a lot of bodies. on this, the last week of murder proposals. who'da thunk?
anyway, nahida doesn't seem very happy about it, and she's sure shenhe won't be either, so. although her instinct now that she's sobered up again is to isolate herself because bad vibes, bad thoughts, and she's still occasionally staring at nothing with horror and dissociating, she doesn't want shenhe to be alone, so she goes to find her.]
[she's not hard to find, she kind of just is sitting somewhere on the ground, tiredly. her thoughts are a jumble of messy, horrible static. nothing clear, just the kind of thoughts you have when you aren't paying attention to anything. distant, vague.
she looks up when nahida comes into view, expression solemn.]
[she holds nahida's hand, looking back down. she's got her phone in hand, and it's looping the song that played for wolfwood. for a moment, she struggles with words, and then she kind of just gives up. that's all she can manage right now.]
... I'm fine. You should worry about Fei Du. [she shouldn't be away from him too long, or he's going to try and hurt himself again, she thinks, tiredly. her fingers tighten around her phone, though.]
[I'm worried about both of you. If it hurts, it hurts.
...but, ah - that thought isn't great. fei du is having a really hard time, and understandably so - there are vague sympathetic thoughts there that aren't quite easy to put into words, but they're definitely present.]
I am more sad for Vash and Nahri. [i knew this was coming. i get to see him again. i don't feel things like other people. maybe i am broken.] Thank you for your concern, though.
What? [she wasn't even aware that she thought it, help. she's not flushed or anything but she is. slightly hungover, and the swirling guilt and sadness is making it worse.]
...a part of me expected to see Netzach and Yuzuriha erased this week.
[I didn't want it, but...]
So... I was prepared for them. It hurts, but not as much as it would have if it had come as a shock. [...] I just can't understand why Wolfwood and Luo Wenzhou are dead.
You'll see them soon. [it's what she's been telling people all day. herself included. it doesn't really help, though. she doesn't know that it really helps, to know that they'll be awake, because they still died, and it still hurt.
as for the rest, she just exhales.]
I don't know. [...] We can ask them when they arrive if they know.
[it's not a huge comfort, but - at least they'll be here, instead of being fully erased from existence. that is at least something small they can all cling to.]
...I suppose depending on how the trial goes, we may get answers of some kind, too.
[nahida can get some very sappy animal crossing joy emote emotions coming from shenhe as she sits here texting!! guess who she's talking to and the first two guesses don't count ig
Mm, I have. And I'm going to keep sending them messages, too, so they don't have to be so focused all the time. [her gaze flicks to shenhe's phone.] Are you doing the same?
I have been, though... it's difficult not to ask for my team's time as much as I'm able to. I worry. [if things go wrong - she just wants them to know she loves them.
...I don't think you need to hold back. They missed you a lot.
[she really has grown a lot. nahida admires that - she doesn't know how much she herself has changed, but shenhe... she's changed. and she seems happy about it.
I know that Nahri did. [she wonders sometimes if wolfwood and vash did, because it isn't always easy for her to tell when they hide their emotions like they do.] You were dearly missed as well, you know. Even if you weren't gone for very long.
I missed you, too. Though it was a little different for me. We could see all of you near constantly - it was a little like still being with you, even though we couldn't speak.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
w0, SATURDAY
if you guessed that she is looking for a flower that she can shove in her mouth, you would be correct! she's got a few of them collected, with a pensive look on her face.]
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well. nahida pauses, glancing between shenhe and the flowers.]
Shenhe?
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a pause. and then she kind of awkwardly lifts a hand. hi.]
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...how does the taste of those compare to Violetgrass and Qingxin?
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I think it may just be the way they taste...
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[me looking at the ikea restaurant menu and seeing "plant balls" like THIS IS FOR SHENHE.]
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It does not necessarily need to be plants. [she says, tucking her hair behind her ear.] I'm willing to try the plant balls. This is just the easier option.
[it means she doesn't have to go inside buildings and order things from people in a small space, wheeze]
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I suppose they would be available at any time of day, but... what happens if you run out? I haven't seen anywhere to get seeds to plant new flowers...
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Hm. [...] That was never an issue in the mountains, but I suppose it would be here. This city doesn't seem to built for sustainability.
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[but it won't be nahida because she has other priorities like making sure shenhe doesn't starve and getting all three of them back to teyvat alive.]
Most of the food options do leave a little bit to be desired, but the ice cream is good.
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Ice cream...? [whatever that is sounds interesting.]
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Yes. It's similar to a custard or a pudding, but it's colder, and it's sweetened. I've tried a few different kinds, but I think I like strawberry best so far.
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Ah. That sounds... good. [she likes food, even if she doesn't allow herself to have it often, but like. listen, she's dead. so.] I would like to try it.
Wolfwood and I had french fries, yesterday.
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but oh! she perks up a little at that.]
I've tried them, too. They're tasty, aren't they? And he's a very interesting person. He had me try an apple pie with him on our first day here!
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He warned me to not eat too many of them, or I would feel cold. [he said "not so hot" but ok] I've also had the apple pie. D and his strange friend who bites were kind enough to bring me some.
... The people here in general are kind.
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For the most part, yes, they are. I don't know if I've met anyone who's been outright unkind to me, but... I suppose some might be more mischievous than most.
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You sound as though you are avoiding mentioning names.
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w0, SUNDAY
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...are you alright? There were a lot of us in one place, earlier, and you seemed a little...
[on edge.]
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I loathe crowds. [she says, with a short sigh.] It is hard to tell friend from foe in a large gathering like that.
... And the man known as Rang Lee makes me angry.
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[SIGHS.]
I think maybe he finds enjoyment in riling other people up. At least... he seems like that sort of person to me.
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[actually nahida might see that shenhe's got a bruise across the lower half of her face - it's faint enough that it's hard to see unless you're right up next to her.]
I hit him with my weapon and he asked me to do it again. [it was horny and she hated it]
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[...wait a minute. yeah, she's close enough to see that bruise.]
Shenhe, your face... does it hurt? I can use my Psych to clear that up for you if you'd like.
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You don't need to waste your power on it. It doesn't hurt. [she wrinkles her nose.] He punched me.
[ok but she did start it so don't feel too bad for her]
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Why would he do that? Should I go have a talk with him?
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[she says, with a sniff.]
I would advise against talking to him. He is unpleasant, and likes the taste of his own blood.
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[sometimes cranes just choose violence...]
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[and then things got out of hand]
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oh dear.]
I see.
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You are disappointed. [she thinks. maybe]
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...there are times when it's wise to use force. But, I worry that fighting with people like him may cause you to be put into those situations more often than you need to.
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But what if he tries to get revenge on you for it?
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and then feels a little bad for giggling and puts her hand over her mouth]
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I find that hard to believe.
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Alright. [...] Have you discussed teams with anybody yet?
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[she tilts her head to one side.]
What about you, Shenhe?
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there's a pause.]
I spoke to Nahri, after the overseers arrived. I think I would like to help her.
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Nahri... she seems like a good choice. I've spoken with her a little. If you want to help her, then I think you should.
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Then... I think that I will. That leaves two more people.
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I like Wolfwood.
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He seems like a nice person, so I don't think that would be a bad choice.
week 0, monday
she bounces a tennis ball a few times before trying to hit one with the racket... alas, she misses.]
Oh...
[her ears droop a little, but then she spots shenhe and waves.]
Shenhe, good morning!
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Hello, Nahida. [she makes her way over, pushing her hair back out of her face. she seems to be in a relatively good mood.] What are you doing?
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I think this [she holds up the tennis racket and ball] is another type of game. I haven't seen it before, so I thought I'd try it.
Are you out for a walk?
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[she says, absently.] I am, yes. My team agreed to look for resources, but I have my suspicions that Vash and Wolfwood will not be taking it seriously, so I can take my time.
[lmao] Would you like to figure out how to play?
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I would love that! Umm... what sort of resources are you looking for?
[she'll go fetch a second tennis racket while she's talking, though, and will hand it to shenhe.]
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I guess they didn't have very many beds to begin with, did they...?
[a beat.]
But I didn't see any cooking utensils for sale...
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I didn't either. [lame.] I'm not a very good cook, but I'd like to learn.
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I would. Thank you, Nahida. [c:] I will think of something to do for you in exchange.
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Please don't go to any trouble. Making something with you will be fun for me, too.
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[or so she's heard, anyway.]
Your master sounds like they're very wise.
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[gazes]
She would like you, though she'd never say so.
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Ah - I should warn you, she takes the form of a crane. This surprises some people, I've found.
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I'd like to, though!
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I don't think it would be good to be away from Teyvat for too long... for any of us to, really.
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Do you have important work to attend to, like Kaveh?
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I do... I'm pretty sure my assistant and the others in the Akademiya can handle things temporarily in my absence, but I don't want to abandon them with all of my work, either.
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week 0, friday ... 2
someone did a murder!! so quickly!! and they took out a member of her team, to boot!! how frustrating. nahida is upset about it, but she's also walking around the city - she has some people to check in with and things to follow up on...
speaking of... when she spots shenhe, she hurries over to her.]
Shenhe? Kaveh told me you were planning to stop by to check on us last night. I hope you didn't get trapped outside...
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when she sees nahida, she does make her way right over! she crouches so that she can make sure nahida is unharmed.]
No. I was trapped in the IKEA. [her expression suggests she was not pleased about this.] I did mean to find the two of you, but the doors locked.
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We were trapped at the McDonald's. It was getting late, and Hikari hadn't come back yet, so I asked where he was... he was there with Rin. Kaveh and Shu came with me, and then all five of us were locked in.
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... You can't lose any of your other teammates.
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...no. I can't. [...] But I don't want others to lose their teammates, either.
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It won't stop. A team is ahead, now. The rest of the teams will need to catch up.
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Do you have experience with solving murders?
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week 0, saturday ... 2
...Shenhe? How are you feeling after all of that?
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she's vibrating into space, somewhere outside far away from the mcdonald's.]
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...I'll keep my distance if you'd prefer. But... I want you to know that I'm here if you need anything.
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... I'm not good company. [but it's not a no! she just knows that she's not always a fun person to be around.]
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[...]
But that doesn't mean any of us should have to be alone.
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That includes you.
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...I'm not unused to being alone with my thoughts, so it's alright if I am. But I know how it feels isn't always nice, so... I'd like to be there for others if I can.
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No. [explain more] If it isn't alright for me to be alone, it isn't alright for you. It should be equal.
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nahida kind of loves that, honestly. it's rare for people to speak so plainly to her. this is a far cry from "great dendro archon, bless us with your wisdom" and she's completely here for it.]
...alright, alright.
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Good. [and she folds her arms. a pause.] Are you happy to have caught the one who did it?
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[because oh god the post trial aftermath would be so much worse if there was a group of four out there having to decide who to sacrifice.]
I still have a lot of unanswered questions, but...
w1, THURSDAY
god she's doing so bad at protecting the two people from home like she promised she'd try. she will try to stay close.]
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hello shenhe.]
...thank you for your help earlier, Shenhe.
[a beat. wait.]
...Shenhe? [...she clutches at her head. her thoughts are a mess.] You're... alive.
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[they're all dead, but. she's not erased! she will sit down next to nahida.] Am I not supposed to be?
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...she feels like she's here. and alive. and real.]
I thought... you were there. With us. We were fighting... [...] ...but, I thought - [her voice breaks] I thought I saw you die.
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she looks very confused.]
... I don't remember, if what you say is true. [...] Where were you?
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[her brow furrows as she tries to think back to it.]
...I didn't recognize it at the time, but thinking about it... I started in a cave, but then I found a portal, and... it took me to the Jade Chamber.
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[huh. wait, hold on:] Cave - Kaveh mentioned a cave, as well. What was in the cave?
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[she shivers, remembering it.]
A... monster. And three people who had been... "chosen."
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... Chosen. What did the monster look like?
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[hmm.]
It was... almost like a snake. It seemed to be made out of shadows, and it... it had three red eyes.
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... Did you kill it?
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[hmmmmmmm.]
I did. But... I wasn't able to save the other three people in the cave.
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... I doubt you would have been able to, no matter what you tried. That isn't your fault.
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[...]
I thought I was finally starting to measure up as an archon, but...
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[i'm like 95% sure nobody has told her that nahida is an archon yet]
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...yes? [a beat.] Oh, did I not mention it...?
[don't just "oh" that nahida!!!]
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No, you did not. [....... she probably should be more respectful but she won't be.] I wasn't there, so I don't know what happened. But I don't believe for a moment that you didn't try.
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...thank you for saying that. [a beat.] No - for believing that.
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Of course. [...] You didn't deserve to have this happen.
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[...]
Creatures like that... they should be wiped out.
[(nahida voice) i'm a pacifist, but]
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nahida fiddles with her belongings, then holds out the anemo vision to shenhe]
...I did wonder, because this Vision looks like it came from Liyue... [and, well. because so much of the cyoa happened in liyue.] ...were... we seeing something from your past, Shenhe?
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I suspect you did. [...] I'm not sure why, though.
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[...]
But... I do know one thing. We went through all of that together, and we... struggled. But... if you went through that alone... I knew you were strong, Shenhe, but you're even stronger than I realized.
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this makes her - not uncomfortable, that's not the right word, but she feels... undeserving of it, maybe.]
... I don't know about that. But thank you.
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[she offers shenhe a small smile.]
...and... thank you for coming to see how I was doing.
week 1, friday
anyway, logically nahida knows that there is probably nothing for her to find if she looks around the various locations for clues as to what happened to rin, but sitting and waiting for tomorrow to come doesn't feel right. so she's out and about, which is probably how she runs into shenhe.]
Shenhe...
[ :( WHY DO NICE PEOPLE KEEP DYING WHAT THE FUCK.]
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she doesn't open her eyes, because she's trying not to be violent, but.]
... Nahida. [in, out.]
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...it's really upsetting, isn't it?
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Would you go on a walk with me? It might do us both some good to keep moving for a little while.
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Only if you are not injured still.
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[she is significantly less lightning burned, acid burned, and bloody today.]
But even if I was still a little hurt, I... don't know that I could possibly just sit still right now.
week 2, monday
anyway, nahida is examining a dress with interest.]
...the style sort of reminds me of the Adventurers Guild uniforms... a little, anyway. The way the skirts flare out...
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Yes, you're right. [there's a very muted interest, as well.] It's a nice color.
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[DISAPPOINTMENT.]
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I imagine we can find something similar in your size.
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Maybe... are you thinking about getting new clothes, Shenhe?
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Yes. But I'd like something easy to move in, and something that doesn't get in my way.
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[shopping!]
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[hmm. how best to describe this.]
...simple, I guess? Clothing in Teyvat seems to be much more intricately designed.
[their infinity accessories...]
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[she will lead nahida around the store, though.]
It's been hard to find something I like. My usual clothing was made for me.
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[hmm... nahida examines a plaid pinafore dress and shakes her head.]
Your usual clothing seems like it would be very easy to move around in.
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These aren't terrible. They're softer. But my usual was made for the mountains.
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I don't know much about Sumeru's fashion or customs.
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My clothing isn't especially indicative of what most people wear in Sumeru... the clothes Kaveh arrived in are a little closer to it. They're very bright and colorful, usually, with plenty of embroidery and accessories.
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I like the shirt I found last week. [her hawaiian one...]
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[time to take another look around the clothes.]
week 2, sunday
horrible.
it's not until later in the evening that nahida is able to bring herself to venture out in search of anyone else, but she knows she's not the only one hurting right now. so, she goes to look for shenhe.]
Shenhe...?
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she's just sitting in the grass, staring up at the sky. nahida will feel the sensation of wanting to cry, and a quiet, exhausted frustration. that build up, that hot, horrible feeling behind your eyes and in your chest when you want to sob. she can't. she doesn't know how to anymore.
so she's just sitting, staring. and she doesn't look away, but:]
Nahida.
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nahida's eyes are a little red. she's been crying, but she's tried to clean herself up. seeing shenhe and getting that feeling, though - it almost makes her want to cry all over again, to shed tears on her behalf, if she can't.
she takes a breath and sits down next to her.]
...is it alright if I stay here with you for a little while?
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Yes. [she murmurs.] You may stay as long as you'd like.
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that surprises her, but it also draws a surge of warmth and gratitude from her, too, and she scoots a little closer to give shenhe a hug. it's gentle, rather than tight and squeezing, because she is aware that shenhe is still getting used to this sort of thing.]
...thank you. [and then, quietly - ] I'm sorry. It all happened so quickly...
[and even if it hadn't been so fast... she's not sure there would have been a way to save him, although she did want to.]
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There was nothing we could do to stop it. [she says, after a moment.] I'm... unused to this.
[to not being able to do anything. to losing people. she's never really had people to lose before.]
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[shenhe should get used to having people around her, but nahida doesn't want her to get used to losing them. still, won't they all, eventually? people can adjust to nearly any circumstance they find themselves in; that's something she's observed so many times throughout the centuries.
but to grow accustomed to this, to acclimate to it, that just feels...]
It's... an unpleasant feeling.
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I'm not sure how mortals do it. [like she isn't also one. listen.] I've realized that I want to protect people. It's impossible to do, here.
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[human emotion is a mystery to her, even if she's learned more about it as time has gone by.]
...but from what I've observed... there are many different ways to protect people. The most obvious is to protect them from physical harm. [...] But protecting their hearts... that's just as important, but sometimes, it's much more difficult.
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... I think it would be wise of me to not take that responsibility. {she sounds a little rueful.]
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...I think you've been doing it all along without realizing it, Shenhe.
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Have I? [... huh.] It doesn't feel like it.
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I think if you asked, the people who have been close to you in your time here would say otherwise.
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I have been trying to learn. [but she wasn't sure she was getting anywhere.] ... This week I have felt more like a burden than anything else.
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...I'm sorry to hear that, Shenhe. If it helps, I have never once thought of you as a burden.
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I do not like the way sharing my emotions has made people feel as though they must walk carefully around me. I will be happy when it's not this way.
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[it's so hard to act like everything is fine if everyone can feel that it's not! terrible.]
At least... if the pattern for the last few weeks holds, this should be the last day of it.
w6, TUESDAY
nahida can get little bursts of thoughts - she doesn't often think things other than what she says, because she's so straightforward, but today she's silent as she reads.
want to be there i miss you too. feeling this - this is like crying but i can't and oh jonas i wish i was there and peace sign
she'll look up when she sees nahida, though, and offer a very small smile. she's not wearing her ropes, and her hair is down, this is important to note.]
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Hello, Shenhe. [...] It's reassuring to hear from them, isn't it? Even if we can see them... watching doesn't feel like enough.
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It is. [she reaches for nahida!! come sit. this graveyard is so Touchy that they've trained shenhe into holding hands with everybody.] Who didn't write back?
[she is not polite enough to not respond directly to people's thoughts.]
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...Kaveh. [she comes to sit with shenhe, taking her hand.] But he's got... a lot going on right now, so he probably hasn't had the time to.
[he was probably on a date with netzach when the messages came in tbh]
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Yes. He didn't write to me, either. But he will. [...] He cares about you.
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[that he didn't write to shenhe is just proof that he was just busy. or distracted by love arrows. or literally anything else.]
...I just wish there was something we could do to make this all easier on him... on everyone.
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... Yes. I do too. There's only so much that words can do. [...] I worry about Jonas. His letter to me alarmed me, a little.
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...it can't have been easy on him - none of this can have been. I wish we could see him again. [...] ...but not because he ended up over here. I think he and the others may be afraid of that, because of the numbers.
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... I told Vash that it is okay if teams of two end up here, and that it isn't so bad. I hope that eases their minds, a little.
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[Kaveh wanted to take my place here so badly. Did I just make things harder on him by refusing to allow him into the erasure with me?]
Netzach had offered to allow me to erase him and Yuzuriha for the points. I was vehemently opposed to it at the time, because I thought that meant the overall cost to save everyone would go up. But... After we were told it was okay, I told him I would understand if he pursued that strategy, even if I didn't like it.
So that is at least two teams who know.
w6, THURSDAY
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in the process of bailing out of the hotel to find somewhere to sleep from now on where no one can find her. so uh. help. anyway, she's moving as quickly as her tiny little legs will allow, but - at one point, she goes absolutely still, staring straight ahead with horror as the color drains out of her face.
(there is nothing horrifying in front of her. it's just a normal shibuya street.)]
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shenhe moves, like she's putting herself in between whatever nahida is looking at and nahida, and says, firmly, but gently:]
Nahida. Nothing is there. [...] I'm real. You aren't where you were.
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[she nods slowly]
...but what if this is another loop...?
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What would convince you that it isn't?
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[she shakes her head, and there's a stray thought -
There's no way to prove we aren't in another loop.]
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Just time. [she extends a hand.] I am here with you. [I'm not Kaveh, but I will have to do.] I won't leave you.
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actually seems panicked at that. there's a spike of I don't want to hurt you too! that drowns out the static in her thoughts, and she backs away from shenhe's hand.]
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she frowns, but - the thought is familiar.]
You won't. [she says, firmly. she keeps her hand out.] You can't. [Remember what they said. They said things to help you. You have to try.]
You haven't hurt anybody, it wasn't real. But I understand. Did you have to kill people you care about?
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[she takes a deep, shuddering breath, and stares at shenhe's hand.
I wasn't Gnosia in the last loop, but I could be now. I don't want her to disappear.]
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I won't. [I won't disappear.] ... Could you hear their thoughts, on your mission? I can hear yours. You are worried you could be Gnosia. You are not.
[I don't know what that is, but I know you aren't.]
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[...
oh.
she couldn't hear them there. she looks up, hopeful. that's a difference, so - does that mean it's really over? that they broke out of the loop after all?
she looks hopeful, but terrified. if these hopes are dashed, then...]
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Think something, and I will tell you what you thought. Tell me what I am thinking.
[Can you hear me? I am thinking about cats. I am thinking about ice cream, and donuts.]
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[I want to make Alhaitham drink a spicy avocado cola so Kaveh will laugh.]
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You want to make Alhaitham drink a spicy avacado cola so Kaveh will laugh. [she watches her, head tilted just a little.] Alhaitham is someone from Teyvat?
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He and Kaveh argue a lot...
[shenhe could hear what she was thinking.
slowly - cautiously - nahida reaches out to take her hand. when they make contact, she watches her worriedly, like she's afraid shenhe will vanish before her very eyes.]
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You're free from it. [three things. three things you can see. three things you can feel. three things you can hear.] You are back in Shibuya.
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shenhe doesn't vanish. she doesn't peel away from reality, bit by bit. she stays exactly where she is, and nahida can still feel the warmth of her hand.
...
after a few moments of this, nahida surges forward and hugs her tightly.]
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shenhe isn't expecting it, but - she adjusts quickly enough. nahida hugs her, and shenhe wraps her arms around her and hugs her back, warm and steady and real. she's gotten better at hugging, over time - she's not clumsy anymore. it's nice, that this is something she's been able to learn.
carefully, she rests a hand on the back of nahida's head, and the other on her back, and holds on as long as nahida wants.]
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...thank you, Shenhe.
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Of course. [she murmurs.] ... Last week, I also saw things when I returned. I know how it can hurt.
[a pause.] I am glad that I can help you.
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[Even if this isn't in another loop, I could still...
the rest of that thought is drowned out by a multitude of voices talking over each other, to the point that it's impossible to clearly make out what they're saying.]
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[or - well, she doesn't know exactly, but she can guess. there's a little flicker of two names - wolfwood and nahri, but it's not at the forefront of her thoughts.]
You can talk about what happened, but I don't need to know if you don't want to. [...] Perhaps with alcohol.
[someone has been teaching her bad habits]
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...that might help. Vash used to invite me to drink with him after trials.
[lmao]
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... That was nice of him. [she misses vash. hhh.] We can try to find something that doesn't taste horrible.
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There's a tavern in Port Ormos which has a famous spiced cocktail. I wonder if we could find something similar here.
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[would she be mad if shenhe shifted her to give her a piggyback ride... she's going to do that if nahida doesn't protest.]
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it's piggyback time]
Alright... let's go.
week 6, friday
that sure is a lot of bodies. on this, the last week of murder proposals. who'da thunk?
anyway, nahida doesn't seem very happy about it, and she's sure shenhe won't be either, so. although her instinct now that she's sobered up again is to isolate herself because bad vibes, bad thoughts, and she's still occasionally staring at nothing with horror and dissociating, she doesn't want shenhe to be alone, so she goes to find her.]
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she looks up when nahida comes into view, expression solemn.]
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nahida sits down next to her and takes her hand. her own thoughts, at the moment, are those jumbled, overlapping voices, but she is ignoring them.]
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[she holds nahida's hand, looking back down. she's got her phone in hand, and it's looping the song that played for wolfwood. for a moment, she struggles with words, and then she kind of just gives up. that's all she can manage right now.]
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[yeah, words are hard.
after a few moments, the overlapping voices in nahida's mind quiet, and she gives shenhe's hand a gentle squeeze.
...I'm sorry about Wolfwood. And about Luo Wenzhou.]
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... I'm fine. You should worry about Fei Du. [she shouldn't be away from him too long, or he's going to try and hurt himself again, she thinks, tiredly. her fingers tighten around her phone, though.]
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...but, ah - that thought isn't great. fei du is having a really hard time, and understandably so - there are vague sympathetic thoughts there that aren't quite easy to put into words, but they're definitely present.]
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I am more sad for Vash and Nahri. [i knew this was coming. i get to see him again. i don't feel things like other people. maybe i am broken.] Thank you for your concern, though.
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It's hard, to not be able to be there for them. [...] I would have felt relieved to see Kaveh and Shu again here... I miss them.
[Sad for what the would have to experience to get here... but relieved, too.]
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Yes. I'll be happy to see him when he wakes up. [I feel kind of sick.] It's... difficult, yes? To want them with you, but not, at the same time.
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[it's very difficult, but - that thought gives her pause.]
...sick? What do you mean?
[looking at shenhe's face like are you flushed. do you have a fever.]
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What? [she wasn't even aware that she thought it, help. she's not flushed or anything but she is. slightly hungover, and the swirling guilt and sadness is making it worse.]
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[a pause.]
I do, I guess. It's alright. [...] I felt like this when Rin died, too.
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...that's what I mean. We're all hurting in our own ways, so I think... it's important to check in with each other.
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[...] Are you alright?
[let's not talk about her feelings, they're conflicting and confusing]
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[I didn't want it, but...]
So... I was prepared for them. It hurts, but not as much as it would have if it had come as a shock. [...] I just can't understand why Wolfwood and Luo Wenzhou are dead.
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as for the rest, she just exhales.]
I don't know. [...] We can ask them when they arrive if they know.
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[it's not a huge comfort, but - at least they'll be here, instead of being fully erased from existence. that is at least something small they can all cling to.]
...I suppose depending on how the trial goes, we may get answers of some kind, too.
w7, MONDAY
she will wave when she sees nahida, though.]
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she smiles and waves back]
Nightingale wasn't kidding about this being chaotic. But this is the kind of chaos I like.
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[she says, decisively.] ... I wish we were allowed to touch the living, but this will have to do for now. Have you talked to people?
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[she wants to give kaveh ann actual hug!!!]
Mm, I have. And I'm going to keep sending them messages, too, so they don't have to be so focused all the time. [her gaze flicks to shenhe's phone.] Are you doing the same?
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I have been, though... it's difficult not to ask for my team's time as much as I'm able to. I worry. [if things go wrong - she just wants them to know she loves them.
she's grown a lot in the time she's been dead.]
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[she really has grown a lot. nahida admires that - she doesn't know how much she herself has changed, but shenhe... she's changed. and she seems happy about it.
that's the most important thing, she thinks.]
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[she sounds sure of this.
her ears droop a little.]
...I missed them as well. But, I also missed you, in the time we were apart.
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I missed you, too. Though it was a little different for me. We could see all of you near constantly - it was a little like still being with you, even though we couldn't speak.
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[(me thinking about nahida just watching everyone from the sanctuary of surasthana for 500 years)]
But... I'm glad we can speak now.